This month, Crispin, renowned wizard and spellcaster, answers magical mysteries and casting quandaries. Magic wand on the fritz? Accidentally cast yourself into the middle of a hurricane? Ask Crispin!
Q. Dear Mr Crispin,
I have a problem with my son. Now, before you pass this off as an entirely non-magic related question, hear me out. You see, I am a dragon. My son is a talented mage. I love my son, but he has a habit of getting into such mischief with his talents, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. Just last night he shrunk me to the size of a hatchling!
At first, I just grinned and endured it. I wanted to encourage him to use his talents, after all. But what begun as a fun family bonding activity has since become quite a nuisance. Although I never believed myself to be at all skilled at magic - whereas my son is a mage, I have always been a warrior - I have heard from multiple sources that all dragons have some form of innate magic. My question is, is there any way I could use this to my advantage, and end my son's shenanigans?
-Arix
A. Dear Mr. Arix,
In my recently published book, Crispin’s Guide to Spellcasting: Updated and Revised Edition, under A33, Article 10, Lines 30-45, under the heading, “How to Harness Innate Magical Abilities In a Dragon,” you will find helpful instructions for how to awaken your own natural abilities. After you have harnessed that power, become an authoritative figure--speak in a loud voice and be clear in your requests and demands! In order to
master this, look under section A55, Article 66, Lines 21-42, under the heading, “How to Teach Your Offspring to Use Magic More Responsibly.” Following my precise directions will end his shenanigans and also teach him proper use of Magic in no time!
If this still doesn’t solve the issue, I fully recommend you enroll him at once to Crispin’s School of Spellcasting and Charms. There is a very rigorous curriculum there, and each student learns how to control their powers in a responsible manner. Although I do ask you give them some forewarning about your son’s enrollment--I’m not sure there are dragon-sized rooms just yet!
-Crispin
Ed. Note: Shortly after publication of Crispin’s Guide to Spellcasting: Updated and Revised Edition, an error was found under section A33, Article 10, Lines 30-45, under the heading, “How to Harness Innate Magical Abilities In a Dragon.” Specifically, it appears the previous version, Crispin’s Guide to Spellcasting, has the correct directions. Unfortunately, that edition has been discontinued, and all remaining copies have been magically returned to the manufacturer to be updated. Following the latest volume will instead result in amplifying the powers of a dragon’s offspring. We apologize to Mr. Arix and his family for the inconvenience, and will be sending them a corrected and signed copy once it is available.
Q. Dear Crispin,
I come from a very far-away land in the sky and I’ve recently become stranded in the Kingdom of Daventry. My “magic sky ship” has been damaged beyond repair, and I am having no luck at all getting a job as a janitor member of the cleaning staff at this castle or any other! Please help find a way to get back to my “sky kingdom” so I can get out of here!
Sincerely, R.W.
